mister culverlake . food . travel . music . life .


goodbye, goodnight

Posted by culverlake

today is the birthday of my best friend .

i lost my best friend just short of three years ago .

the world has been a different place ever since . why?

it misses his smile .

it misses his ability to make everything ok .

it misses our talent for making fun .

i run at half power ever since .

Filed under: life . 3 Comments

yeah this midnight air is cold and barren …

Posted by culverlake

I've been trying to figure out a way to start this without doing a "well, I've wanted to write, so here I am" or one of those provincial sort of "welcome to my blog" first entries. Chances are, at least at this point, if you're here, you know me in some form and I've probably begged you to come here. (Relax, take your coat off, stay awhile ...)

Instead, let me try this. It's cold outside. It's kinda chilly in my apartment. I'm wearing a hoodie with the hood up and last night I slept with one of my woolen Burton hats on. Such is life. The past few days have been a blur, the next few promise to be, more than likely, just as blurry. Not drunken blurry, more one of those Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it" things. Seems to me a perfect time to do this. "Do this, here, thing", as Dean Martin used to say.

I'm in the thick of it. I'm stuck in the middle. I've got so much to give, to share, to learn, to grow. Monday, four copies of mae's final EP, "(e)vening", arrived at work (I live in a building without a doorman, so I'm forced to have packages sent to work. Ugh. #whiteboyproblems). Today, I started listening to one of them and was instantly in love, instantly broken and instantly reminded of why this band means so much to me. Love mae or not, there's something different about Dave Elkins' lyrics and something very personal about this and the past two EPs. They remind me of a loss so great, it's practically unimaginable. They remind me that I might never have known about mae without one of my closest friends. And, most importantly, they remind me that I'm still alive and that I not only have my life to live, but, maybe, just maybe, I'm living for someone else too.

That sounds like a burden and I'm sure to some it could, and would, be. To me, it's a challenge. It's a big world and, let's be honest, it's mine for the taking. It takes a song like "Bloom" ("Yeah we've lost our way and walked around it/Yeah we've found our faith and then unwound it/Yeah this midnight air is cold and barren/Yeah but the bloom of hope it keeps repairing") to remind me that I can do it.

So, I'll be here. Writing less frequently than I'd like and probably too infrequently to get really mentioned. But, the kid you've grown to love who tweets and blogs about food trucks, food, schnitzel and what really matters is right here. Let's give this a go and see where we end up. That's what it's all about after all, isn't it?